


Pokeville

by LastScorpion



Category: Pokemon, Smallville
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-17
Updated: 2011-03-31
Packaged: 2017-10-13 06:05:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/133807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastScorpion/pseuds/LastScorpion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pokemon x Smallville - Wednesday100 wanted codas to "Covenant" and I got a little silly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Happened to Clark

_Last Saturday, the kids were watching cartoons, including Pokemon. I could swear that Ash said they were going to Smallville City next, at the end of the episode.  
_  
"Keep digging, James!"

"But where are we going?"

"The twoip said Smallville City, so there we'll go. Meowth!"

"But I never heard of it! Are you sure he didn't say Mallville?"

"Just dig!"

"Yes, Jess."

Clunk

"Now what!" With Jessie's frantic supervision, James excavated the object blocking their path.

It was a naked man.

"We'll bring him along," Jessie decided. "Find him something to wear."

"His shoulders look too broad for any of my clothes."

"Meowth! Look! A cave opening!"

So that's how Clark returned home with two notorious Pokemon-thieves and a talking Meowth, and wearing a strapless ball gown.


	2. What Happened to Lana

Time to Accept the Inevitable (aka Puffy Pink Death)

\--7979797979797979797979797979--

Gotham International Airport was dark and dull. Lana had been there for hours, and she had hours to wait for her Paris flight.

No one was paying her the slightest attention.

Suddenly she noticed a round, pink creature walking purposefully through the airport. “Aren’t you cute!” she said, picking it up and cuddling it.

“Jiggly?” the thing responded.

When Lana’s flight was finally called, she couldn’t bear to leave the pink thing behind. “Here. Hide in my purse!”

During the flight, the Jigglypuff got bored and started singing cheerfully. Everyone fell asleep, including the pilots, and the plane crashed.

Darn.

Disclaimer: I do not encourage hiding anything in your bag when getting on an airplane. Look what happened to poor Lana!

There will be more to this Pokeville story, but it's too long for wednesday100. Here at the AO3, it will be called "Lana Lives Happily Ever After in Paris".


	3. What Happened to Lex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's not my fault!" Ash returned.

"Lost again!" Misty lamented.

"It's not my fault!" Ash returned.

"Kids, kids. Look, there's a castle over there. Let's ask for directions," Brock suggested.

"Pika-Pi!" Pikachu agreed.

The door was unlocked. Nobody was around.

"Hello?" Misty and Togepi led the way. "Is anybody here?"

They found a bald man unconscious in a mess of broken glass. "He's been poisoned!" Brock quickly concluded. He searched his backpack for Antidote and administered some.

Lex came around to find he was surrounded by cartoons. He closed his eyes.

"Don't worry, mister," Ash encouraged him. "You'll be fine!"

Lex sighed. "Not again," he muttered.


	4. What Happened to Chloe and Gabe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I believe the Clefairy are preparing for another cross-dimensional migration," Professor Oak told his assistant. "Most experts believe they are not native to this planet, or this plane."

Dozens of pink, puffy Pokemon swayed in unison, chanting their obscure song and waving their fingers. Pokemon researchers crouched nearby, observing.

"I believe the Clefairy are preparing for another cross-dimensional migration," Professor Oak told his assistant. "Most experts believe they are not native to this planet, or this plane."

The Clefairy ritual reached a crescendo. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light, and a momentary glimpse of an enormous explosion. When the dust cleared, the Pokemon were gone. In their place stood a couple of very odd-looking humans.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," Chloe told her Dad.


	5. What Happened to Jonathan and Lionel, and the Rest of the Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's when he noticed the Kawatche Cave seemed awful bright, full of an even, pink-tinged light. He couldn't tell where exactly it was coming from. There were some sort of little pink animals in the cave, he saw as his vision cleared. They were two or three feet tall, hopping around on their hind legs, and they seemed to be building something out of a bunch of junk they had. Maybe 'animals' was the wrong term; maybe they were more like gnomes or some such.

Jonathan felt like he'd had a rock wall fall on him, and that pretty much seemed to be the case. He hauled himself up to sit, leaning against the cave wall, and tried to catch his breath.

That's when he noticed the Kawatche Cave seemed awful bright, full of an even, pink-tinged light. He couldn't tell where exactly it was coming from. There were some sort of little pink animals in the cave, he saw as his vision cleared. They were two or three feet tall, hopping around on their hind legs, and they seemed to be building something out of a bunch of junk they had. Maybe 'animals' was the wrong term; maybe they were more like gnomes or some such.

Bemused and aching (but feeling better all the time) Jonathan watched the busy little critters at work. They sure had a remarkable collection of stuff. He saw some backpacks, old shoes, a really nice stereo system, a long clothesline with laundry still attached, a rusty combine, some computer equipment, and a mostly-destroyed Porsche. They also had quite a few chunks of the broken cave wall (Musta been that woke me up, when they were clearing those rocks offa me, he thought) and a big pile of kryptonite bricks, like what Martha said she'd seen in the vault in Lionel's office that time.

By the time Jonathan recognized their construction as a spaceship, he was feeling pretty good. He started to get up, so he could try talking to the little pink aliens (well, they must be aliens if they were building a spaceship, right?) and as he did, he noticed a broken bottle. He'd almost been sitting on it. The label was still legible - it said Full Heal. He dipped his finger into the tiny remnant of liquid that remained, and felt even a little better. He tasted the stuff, and felt better still. The dull ache he'd lived with ever since he'd made that devil's bargain with that damn alien cave-ghost was gone, and he could draw a full breath again.

Was this some sort of Miracle Elixir?

Suddenly Jonathan heard Lionel Luthor's voice. He was so startled he dropped the partial bottle, and it shattered into a million fragments. Oh, well. Probably better that Luthor not get ahold of it anyhow. Quickly he found a place to hide.

Lionel strode into the cave and stopped short, apparently amazed at the changes. He'd shaved his head (which definitely looked weirder on him than on Lex) and he was accompanied by two cringing sycophants and - a mutant cat?

"I told you that all that missing gear must mean Clefairies were here!" crowed the strange-looking red-haired girl with Luthor.

"If it's extra-terrestrials you want, then Clefairy is the Pokemon you need," added the equally strange-looking blue-haired boy.

"Meowth! That's right!" declared the mutant cat.

"Remarkable," Luthor murmured. "The refined meteor rock doesn't seem to hurt them at all. Perhaps..."

Just then a clamor arose from the cave entrance. More peculiar-looking people came in, accompanied by a knee-high yellow animal, a walking Easter Egg, Lex Luthor (looking confused) and Clark - Wearing a dress? Jonathan always knew there'd be trouble once Clark started hanging around with that wild Luthor boy!

"You leave those poor little Clefairies alone!" shouted a pony-tailed girl wearing shorts.

"Leave them alone?" Lionel sneered. "I'll make a fortune off of them!"

"Leave them alone? Ah hah hah hah hah hah!" cackled Jessie. "We rescued Mr. Luthor here from jail so that he could make us rich! We're certainly not going to leave these Pokemon alone!"

"Meowth, that's right!" Meowth repeated.

"Weezing! Arbok! Wobbuffett!" shouted James. "Go! Get rid of those twerps once and for all!" He threw down some round red things, and suddenly there was a giant snake and two other even weirder-looking monsters crowding the cave.

"And bring the Pikachu to me!" Lionel roared, shaking his head back as if he still had hair.

What the hell? Jonathan wondered. What in tarnation's a peek-a-shoe?

"Pikachu!" yelled the little kid with the baseball cap who'd come in with Lex and Clark. "Thundershock!"

There was a huge electrical strike, and then all sorts of yelling and fighting. Meanwhile, Jonathan noticed the little pink guys getting into their ship. They'd already loaded it up with all the kryptonite and the chunks of cave wall. As the Pokemon battle raged, and Lex (with Clark standing protectively nearby, odd as that looked with the ball-gown he was wearing) engaged in a vituperative shouting-match with Lionel, the pink junkyard spaceship started to glow. There was a rhythmic chanting sound that got louder and louder. The big walking Easter Egg was doing a little dance, in perfect time with the odd noise. Finally there was a blinding flash of light.

Once Jonathan had blinked the spangles out of his eyes, he could see that the weird unearthly pink glow that had lit the cave was gone. It took a while longer before he could make out what was still there. The spacecraft and all its little pink gnomes were gone. Clark was helping Lex to his feet, and brushing dust and gravel off of him. The mutant cat, the walking Easter Egg, and all the other weird-looking creatures, and their associated weird-looking people, were all gone. Lionel Luthor was gone. Chloe and Gabe Sullivan were there?

"Hi," Chloe greeted them. Gabe just stood there, looking as confused as Jonathan felt.

"What? Where? How?" Clark asked. He must be confused, too.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I'll tell you anyway. Later," Chloe answered, energetically steering her Dad to the cave exit. "Oh, and nice dress, Clark!" she sniped.

"Huh," Jonathan said, coming out from his hiding place. "Why don't we all go on back to the house and have some pie?"

So they did.


End file.
